Another Year

Today is my birthday and my Dad's 3rd death anniversary.

Three years after, I'd say that I've finally come to understand why Papa had to go on the day of my birthday. Not that I have this feeling of blame or resentment towards him for dying on my birthday, I mean, if he died any other day last 2008, it will not change the fact that I lost my father. But you see, my mom's mom (or  my maternal grandmother) also died on my birthday in 1983. 25 years after, it was Papa. And siempre, dahil Tatay ko na yun, iba na ang impact sa akin. Since we buried him, I always had this question of "why on my birthday? What do I need to learn or know?"  Three weeks ago, I was hanging out with my friend Louie and we got to talk about life and I mentioned this fact to him. And he said, "because your Dad wants you to take time off from work on your birthday and spend it with your family, maybe that's why he died on your birthday. So that you'd have a very compelling reason to get out of the office on your birthday". And yeah, I guess Louie's right or what he said made sense, to me at least. :)


I miss you, Papa. Nothing will ever change the fact that I will forever miss you. Not just on my birthdays, but for all the days of my life. One day soon, I know, I'll see you again and you'll get to take care of me again when I get sick. But for now, I know you're looking after me, my brothers and sisters, Mama and all your apos from Heaven. 


As to my birthday, I've never been inclined to have a big celebration. I don't know, I guess I was simply raised that way. Birthdays can be had without the fanfare, what matters is I was able to pray and give thanks to Papa God for the year that was and the year that will be. More than anything, I need to be able to pray on my birthday, inside a Church. It doesn't have to be a Mass, but I just need to be physically inside a Church on my birthday. And today, I am sick on my birthday, so I spent like 90% of the day in bed, save for the dinner treat given by my good friends Net Bautista and Vanessa Go complete with a special mascot. Ha!ha! 


I just want to say "THANK YOU" to all my family and friends who have went out of their way to make me feel special on this day. You know who you are, I will not write your names one by one, lest I forget someone, and maging source pa ng tampo. Ha! Ha! 


Thank You, Papa God for the year that was; the challenges; pains; hurts: sickness: arguments with friends: broken friendship; the tears; the laughter; the successes; the opportunity to broaden my horizons; the healing; the deeper bond I was able to form with my friends; for new friends; for the travel opportunities; for a new found talent; for my family; for granting my prayer that You keep each and every member of my family safe all the time; and for EVERYTHING ELSE in my life. Thank You for the new year You've blessed me with. You know po what's in my heart. And I know that if these are all in accordance to Your holy will for me, then it shall be done.