I watch local showbiz news every now and then, especially when there's something "big" happening in the local biz, but I can live without it.
Today was just one of those days (when I can live without watching), when the TV was turned on and my mom was watching the local showbiz talk show, "The Buzz". As I was multitasking, my attention wasn't really on the show. Until that segment where they showed the wife of a comedian airing her woes as a legal wife who knows her husband is having an illicit affair with another woman and that she (the legal wife) and all of their 7 kids have been abandoned by the man of the house. As with what is normally seen is such cases, legal wife cries on national TV; begs the erring husband to come back to the family; reminds the mistress of what is "morally" wrong on her relationship with a married man. One of the older children even spoke her mind.
Now, as the month of March is National Women's Month and as someone who values the sanctity of marriage, believes in importance of family and fully abhors cheaters and liars, a part of my heart went to the legal wife and her predicament;but it made me think that if I were in her shoes, I'd have use a different strategy: I wouldn't have begged my erring husband to come back and reform his ways; I wouldn't remind that girl who opted to be just a mistress to let go of my husband.
So, what would have I done? On national television, I will tell my misbehaving husband that he can stay with that lowly woman for all he wants, but I, the legal wife, will never, ever grant him the freedom that he'd need to make his relationship with that lowly woman legal. I, his legal wife, will be forever the legal wife; will forever have that dignity of being the legal wife and she will forever be just that, a lowly mistress. And since he is a well-known comedian here in the country, it goes that he earns a lot. So, this leaves the mistress no hold, whatsoever with his money and properties. Whatever my misbehaving husbands earns, buys and invests in, it is a conjugal property. So yeah, they can have all the fun that they can have with each other, but I remain to be the legal wife, acknowledged by the society and God. And God willing that I outlive my husband, I get to enjoy whatever he's left behind.
This may be a very emotionally draining move to make. Oftentimes, when an emotional hurt has reached its peak, people tend to take the easy way out. But tell me, if a legal wife surrenders her legal rights, isn't that like totally losing everything to a mere mistress? Also, I don't believe that it's my obligation to remind my husband and his mistress on what is wrong about their relationship. They are after all, adults. So, they should know.
Yeah, I may not fully understand the inner workings of a marriage, because I've never been married yet. But I know as early as now, that should I get married I will tell my future husband that cheating and lying will not have a place in our marriage. If he do either of these two things, then he'd know what he's going to have. I am after all, his legal wife. The woman he chose to be with; vowed to love in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death. There is nothing there that said anything about a mistress.
To my fellow women, we all need to learn how to love ourselves... to fight for our rights, regardless of marital status... to recognize, believe and embrace that we are to be respected.. to uphold that respect, not just for others, but more importantly, for ourselves!
