10 years and counting?

As I have written in my FB wall status, January 2011 has been freakishly hell for me. So many issues to contend with both at work and personal. 

As this month's coming to a close, and today, January 29, 2011 being my 10th year anniversary as a GSIS employee, this entry's for those  people with whom I have shared those 10 years: (listed mostly in order of appearance to sa buhay ko ha?)

1. Celia M. Megia - my 1st ever Division Chief. Sa kanya ko natutuhan yung pag may trabaho, dapat tapusin, kahit walang uwian! Basta, tapusin ang trabaho. Matarantahin sya nuon bilang DC, pero as a person, napakabait.  Bossing at hepe ang madalas na tawag namin sa kanya. Kahit nman ngayon na pareho na kameng DC, hepe pa din ang madalas kong tawag sa kanya. 
2. Lyke Jesila Cabrias - my 1st ever section chief sa GSIS. Branch Offices ang hawak namin nuon. Sa kanya ako natuto panu makipag-usap sa mga Branch Heads; ang plantilla; ang Employee Data Cards. Kung panu maging meticulous sa trabaho. Matyaga syang mag-review ng mga gawa ko nuon. 
3. Baby Angala - my 2nd section chief. Nung naging load ko ang home office, sya ang naging section chief ko. Mas matagal ko syang naging hepe. Magaan na ka-trabaho. Masipag. Basta, sya trabaho lang. Tapos pag mga 430pm na, makikipag kuentuhan na, maghahanap ng machichicha. Sa kanya ko natutunan yung work attitude na pag may problema na nag-crop up sa work (kasi may na-overlook, etc) wag nang hanapin pa kung sinu ang dapat sisihin, hanap na lang solusyon. Sa kanya ko natutunan na hanggat maari din, sa level ko pa lang o level nya palang, nagagawan na ng paraan, pag di talaga kaya, saka nya ine-elevate kay Mam Cely. 
4. Agnes Santos - eto ang isang matibay talaga. Pagkain lang katapat nito, solve na! Kasa-kasama ko to sa OS, sa paglalakad mula GSIS gang Manila Film Center pag naiwan na kame ng last shuttle. Di biro yun ha, sobrang dilim kaya! Sya din ang madalas kong classmate nuon sa mga FX. Sa Sampaloc pa kasi ako umuuwi nuon, tpos sya Fairview. Kaya una akong bababa sa may Welcome Rotonda. Sya iiwan ko na sa FX. Sa awa ng Dyos, madalas tulog sa byahe to. Madalas nasa garahe na ng FX to nagigising. Sya din ang kasa-kasama namin sa mga Starbucks, eklat nuon. 
5. Joy Paris - ako, si Ate Agnes at Joy ang unofficial na pamilya sa HR. Si Ate Agnes, ay si Ina, ako, ate at si joy ay si bunso. Minsan may granny kame, sa katauhan ni Ma'am Lyke. 
6. Nini Conwi - tandang-tanda ko sya 1st day of reporting ko palang. Kasi sya yung nag-administer sa akin ng recruitment examinations. Over the years, parang ate ko na din sya. Kilala syang madaldal sa trabaho, malakas tumawa. Pero sa kin, okay lang yun, kasi yun na sya. 
7. Anna Marie Ngo (nee Abu) - eto, nakilala ko to, TA pa sya ni Boss Dauphine. Di ko na maalala ang 1st encounter namin which led us to become good friends (sisters na nga eh) over the years. Eto ang unang tao na dama ko ang friendship namin beyond the walls of GSIS. Lahat ng mga ka-boylet-an na minahal, iniyakan at tsinugi sa buhay namin, ay alam namin. Kay Anna ko nakita yung endless faith in "LOVE". Basta sya, go! go! go! sa love! Kahit na over the years, may differences kameng dinadaanan nito, carry lang! Pag matindi ang tampuhan, di lang kame mag uusap nyan, kahit abutin ng buwan, basta, no-talkies to each ang drama namin. Isang araw, maguusap na lang kame nyan basta, tapos okay na kame. Wala ng ekluver na discussion bakit kame nagkatampuhan. We just get over that, we learn from our mistakes then move on na naman kme together sa friendship namin. Di ko malimutan yung kaisa-isang attempt nya na i-blind date ako sa friend ng kanyang esposo, na hanggang ngayon eh di ko pa din ma-memorize ang name (nun pina-blind date, hindi yung esposo ni Anna). Sorry... hehehhe 
8. Alice P. Rivadelo -  ang "Chang" ng bayan! Mabait na sya sa kin simula't simula pa. Unang encounter ko palang sa kanya, mabait na sya sa kin. Walang ere, tapos laging naka-smile. Madami na kameng pinag daanan nito sa PSPB, sya bilang KMG President, ako bilang member ng secretariat. Ilang iyak nya ang nakita ko nuon sa harap ng PGM, para lang to make her point across. Di sya yung tipong susugod na paaway. Sya, makikipag usap sya ng mahinahon, makikiusap. Pag di sya pakinggan nuon ng PGM, makikita ko na yan, umiiyak na. Sometime last July 2010, dun ko talaga naramdaman ang love sa akin ni Chang. Nuong naospital ang pamankin ko na sobrang laki ng gastos. Walang dalawang salita, tinulungan ako ni Chang na makalapit sa PCSO nuon, samantalang di naman nya kilala ang pamankin ko personally. Isa din sya sa mga  un-official hingahan ko ng mga concerns ko sa work at personal na buhay ko. Sya din nakaka-alam kung sinung crush ko sa office. 
9. Jen Adams-Juan  - eto ang unang taong nakilala ko na talagang ang motto sa buhay ay "care ko!". Tingin ko sa kanya nuon, eccentric kasi ang mga kapormahan... Pero maganda ang mukha nito, yun ang una kong napansin sa kanya. Pangalawa, yung dibdib nya.. hehehhehe! Tapos, pag nakausap mo sya, alam mong matalino pero walang angas. May sense kausap, may sense mag tanung. Ang kanyang husband, Peter Juan also became a good friend over the years. Silang mag asawa ang isa sa mga sumbungan ko pag broken hearted ako. I will never forget that trip to Pagsanjan and then Lucban, Quezon (ba?), because that was the time I was mourning the end of a relationship with someone from Canada. Na nung naiiyak na ako tlaga, si Pete and Jen ang mga yumakap sa akin nuon. Sabay tapos ng iyak ko, naghanap kame ng makakainan nang tuyo at sinangag! ahahhahah! mag trip naman daw tlaga! 
10. Ninette Bautista - itong babaitang to, nakilala ko thru Jen and Pete. Una kong nakasama to sa 2005 (or 2006) trip to Bora, which incidentally, was also my trip to the Paradise Island. Unang tingin, kala mo suplada tong si Net, kasi nga tisay eh. Pero after the 1st hour, nakita ko walang ere. Sige lang sya, picture picture. The 1st night in Bora, I remember her telling me about herself and the issues she's facing at the office na agad, na aaminin ko na ngaun, wala akong kaalam-alam sa mga sinasabi nya, tango lang ako ng tango. Ahhahahhaha!!!  Basta wento lang sya. Siguro kasi that time, kelangan na nya ng makikinig sa kanya. Eh ayun ako, available. Simula nuon, wala nang talikuran. Eto din ang isang kaibigan ko sa office na pag nagkatampuhan, alam na gagawin. Iwas muna. Walang usap usap, palamig muna. Pero expect mo si Net knows when to say sorry, tlagang ibibigay nya yun. Tsaka ito, mabait to. Sobra! Sa sobrang bait, minsan naabuso na sya, pero walang angal. 
11. Lai Villagracia, Caren Evangelista at Ayrees Pan - etong 3, di ko pinaghiwalay kasi, sabay-sabay silang dumating sa buhay ko. At yun ay nung mare-assign sila from EMD at HRDD to my department. Nuong una, pakiramdaman kame. Kasi mejo mas bata sila sa akin, in terms of service. Tapos meron silang friend nuon na may issue sa akin, so iwas sila sa akin. Natutuwa ako sobra sa tinakbo ng pagkaka-ibigan namin nitong 3, kasi eto tlaga yung friendship na nakita ko, naramdaman ko na nadedevelop. Sa kanila ko unang narinig yung salitang "hindi pala totoo yung lahat ng naririnig natin about Rose." Kasi sabi nga ni Lai, my reputation of being masungit and other nega-nega, precedes me talaga. It's because of these three that I adapted the principle na di baleng misnterpreted ako, o di maganda ang 1st impression, what's more important ay kung anu yung nakikita ng mga tao sa akin should they decide to go beyond the 1st impression they have of me.  Thank you for this Lai, Ca and Mama Pan, for making me see what's more important, that image IS NOT everything! 
12. Migsy Evangelista - si Boi. Nakilala at naging malapit din sa akin dahil kila Carina. Masarap kasama to, kasi para lang syang bata. Pero may mga bagay na nangyari in between, na di ko man ginusto eh nangyari pa din. Kaya di na kme nag uusap tlaga. 
13. Eric Madrigal, Rosanne Andal and Emily Talamayan - eto, 3 din sila in a topic kasi sabay-sabay ko din sila nakilala thru Anna Ngo naman. Etong grupong to, unang sama ko palang, pinaramdam na nila na kahit may reservation sila (natural naman yun, kasi bago ka sa grupo), willing sila to get to know me, welcome  sila na maging friend ko. Pag katapos ng 3 lakad, swak na! Si kuya Eric, sa kanya ko naaalala yung mga tropa kong lalaki nuon, na alaga nya ang mga friends nyang babae. Si Ate Rosan, nagugulat ako sa pagmamahal at pagmamalasakit na ipinakita nya sa akin in such a short time. Si Tita Emily, sa tinuran nya nung minsan na umalis kame kasi may problema ako, sa tiwalang binigay nya sa akin, nakakagulat.  Sa buong buwan nitong Enero 2011, siguro kung wala itong grupo na ito, malamang nag-resign ako. 
14. Mumoy Dizon - eto! pinaka bago to! Kasi, relatively, new hire pa nman tlaga itong bruhang to. Pero grabe ang openness nya. Sa ikli ng panahon na nakakasama ko sya sa work or labas, kilala ko na ang HRH. Nakikita ko sa kanya ang sarili ko sa pamamaraan ng pagmamahal sa pamilya, sa kaibigan at boylets! ahahahhaha! Kahit na mainit ang ulo nito, asahan mong tatawa ka pa din pag kasama mo sya. Sa kanya ko din natutuhan to partly appreciate si Noel Cabangon! Ahhahahahah!
15. Lurdes Laynes - eto, new hire din kung tutuusin. Pero parang nakakabatang kapatid na din ang tingin ko. Pag kelangan ng maku-kuentuhan ng mga bigat ng dibdib nya, nagsasabi sya sa kin ng walang pretension. 
16. Sa kaisa-isang taong crush ko sa GSIS - sa loob ng sampung taon ko sa GSIS, never akong naging attracted sa kahit sinung male employees dyan. Ikaw lang ang may distinction nuon. Kung anu man ang nakarating sa iyo, sana... sana... magkaron ako ng pagkakataon na makausap ka, makilala ko kung sinu ang tunay na ikaw at makilala mo ang tunay na ako, beyond the impression of me being a frowning face and sunget.  :) At malamang, ikaw na din ang magiging huling crush ko sa GSIS! Oo ikaw na nga, pero wala kang confirmation na nakuha from me, pasensya na, di pa kasi ako nakukumpilan! (tog!) Try ko next Sunday pakumpil, baka sakaling ma-confirm ko na... Ahhahahahahhahaha!!! 

Marami pang iba, sa loob ng sampung taon na andyan ako sa GSIS; at hindi lahat ay puro magandang ala-ala ang iniwan sa akin. Pero hayaan na, kasi sa ayaw ko ma't sa gusto, naging bahagi sila ng buhay ko. Salamat pa din sa inyo! Hanggan sa sususnud na limang taon! 

Of Issues and True Friends

Like what I wrote in my last entry here, recent days at my work place isn't that pretty and easy to bear. Two weeks of non-stop "issues", "hurts" and all other negativities that other people can think of were thrown back and forth. Through it all, I remained silent, choosing to just ignore all the negativities and move on with my life.

One person who instead of talking to me directly, opted to air her side to one of my friends, related that she's deeply hurt by everything and by what I supposedly wrote in that forum site. When I heard this, all I said to my Ate was, "I have moved on. I no longer wish to be dragged into whatever and wherever they want to drag me back."

GSIS (and my job on it) will remain as my main source of income, but it shall no longer be the primary definition of my being. I shall stop measuring my so-called success(es) with the promotions I got in the 10 years (and will get in the future) I've been working there. I shall stop telling myself that I am luckier than most of the employees because I am where I am now after "merely" 10 years in the service; that I am in a position where it took other people half of their working lives to get to, so I have to bend over backwards just to prove myself worthy of this position. Sorry, but gone are those days. What remains is the fact and the commitment that I shall give GSIS what it is due to be given, an employee with an honest desire to be a good HR practitioner and give the best HR service that I know of to my fellow employees. But now I KNOW that I need not obsessed with my job 24/7 just so that I can prove this.

Through all these stressful days, I am so grateful to a few people who have stood by me and believed in me; in what I am capable of doing and not. For their untiring hearts and ears; Ate Nini Conwi, for trying to bridge the "gap"; Ate Rosanne Tan for being my rah-rah girl in spite and despite of everything; Tita Emily Talamayan who during one drinking session was surprised that she was able to make me cry with a simple remark; Kuya Eric Madrigal who always make me feel that no matter what, life is simple and that Karma is always just around the corner; Lai Villagracia and Caren Evangelista, my ever dynamic duo, isang text lang nasa Hi-Street agad; Ninette Bautista for being there always; Louise Natividad and Bryan Hilary, my breakfast team. In all my 10 years in GSIS, never have I felt so supported. Thank you and no matter where I will be in the future, you will always have a place in my life! Pag nanalo ako sa lotto, may balato kayo!  <wink!>

Deja Vu

My current situation at the office hasn't been very easy since New Year came.

On the 1st working day of the year, my boss, the Manager called for a departmental meeting, which started with her spewing off her anger towards that forum post on President Pnoy's website. In that particular topic, she was described with a lot of not so kind words. During the same meeting, she asked for each and everyone's "lessons learned in 2010" as well as work commitment (or new year's resolution that is work related) for 2011. After everyone was done trying to churn out motherhood statements, there I was in all my bitchiness, declaring that I didn't have one, well at least about that part about having a work-related new year's resolution. Which left her open mouthed and short of saying "wwwwwhhhhaaat????". But of course she didn't and instead, had the grace to act interested in what I had to say at that time. And from then on, everything went spiraling down for me.

Ten days after: Today, a friend at work one whom I call Ate (basically because she's older than me by age and tenure at the office and she's always been like an Ate to me) talked to me and shared with me that my boss, The Manager, talked to her last night. Of course, their talk was about MOI, no less! In that talk, my boss, The Manager shared her hurt and feelings of betrayal that "I" apparently has inflicted on her. Basically, the same stuff I heard during the earlier meeting. And yes, there is this teeny weeny issue of TRUST AND LOYALTY.

After my talked with Ate, it dawned on me that I was in for a different fight this time. It made me think if this is going to be a case of he-said-she-said, or in this case, she-said-she said. If this is going to be something that will go down to the level of talking to other people about your hurts instead of talking to the person himself. I guess it is. Ate urged me to talk to the boss. To which I honestly replied, I'm not inclined to. If she calls me to her office for this, then I will go, because I am not in any position to say "No". But for me to actually be the first one to approach and open this topic with her, No thanks!

No, I'm not being a bitch about this. You see, this isn't the first time that my loyalty and my trustworthiness has been put into question. And boy, I am getting tired of this issue! If all the hard work, sacrifices, the long hours, all the weekends I've given up in order to get a project done is not enough basis to prove my loyalty to my job, then I don't know how or what else I have to do to prove it. 

I've actually moved on from this issue. That forum site didn't concern me that much to begin with. But through all those posts about GSIS which have been written on the forum, at some point, it made me sad that all those dirty linens needed to be washed in public. But on the other hand, I've also considered where those posters were coming from. That particular topic which hit on HR has hurt me, too because, damn it, I am from the HR! I know for a fact that we, as HR, aren't perfect. In fact, we are so, so, so far from  it. But reading that topic made me sad. However,  being accused of being one of those hate writers? Gosh! It hurt more than anything because, I am being accused based on hear says and "opinions" and "beliefs" of other people that was fed to my boss. And what makes it truly disappointing is that I am not talked to about this issue, I am being talked ABOUT! And by people who doesn't know a cent's worth of difference between what is a FORUM site and a BLOG site!

Now, on a hindsight, I am thankful for the realizations I had days before 2010 ended. And the decisions I made with regards to these realization. It helped me moved on and remain optimistic in spite and despite of the crappy treatment I am currently getting. These and the people who truly believe in me keeps me going.

Life will go on. I know that it will. I know the truth. And I have from experience, know that the truth shall always set you free. Besides, Karma is just around the corner!

Oh, just for the record, I AM NOT AFTER YOUR JOB!

Fairy Tale Fail

Nah, the title of this entry isn't about my experience in boy-girl relationships (uhmmm, wait a minute, on a 2nd thought, it could be...). 

This is an e-book title which I saw and bought from amazon.com for my Kindle reading device. Ever since I got my Kindle last February 22, 2010, it has become my habit to visit amazon's site almost every night to randomly browse (and buy) for e-books. So it surprised me when I saw there is an e-book being sold by amazon by a Filipino writer, Mina V. Esguerra. This and the fact that it cost $0.99 only, made me buy this e-book. 

Suffice it  to say, this a chic lit stuff. After reading the first few pages, I had this feeling that I was reading one of those short novellas published locally (which I may add, I'm not really fond of for reasons I really can't pinpoint).  But what made me kept on reading this was the way it was written. It was simple and realistic. How it presented relationship concerns and issues were how I have seen it in my own relationships or in my friends' relationship with their significant others. There were actually some point in the story when I could actually feel for the fairy tale heroine, Ellie; her exhilaration of being in love, her shock at being dumped, her sadness and depression after the breakup, her waiting for that guy who she thought (and believed) was her Prince Charming to come back.  When all along, there is really someone right in front of her who was truly meant to be her Prince Charming. 

I liked the way Esguerra ended her story. Like all fairy tales,  it has a happy ending for Ellie, but it was done in a way that I didn't find it "cheesy"; I actually felt kilig about the ending. In short, I was able to relate so much with this book. 

Turning off my Kindle, I got to thinking "someday, and I mean, someday VERY VERY soon, I shall find me a Lucas..." 

Below is the book cover (as it is in printed form) and a summary of the book lifted from Amazon.com:

Of all the twenty-something women who are hopeless romantics, Ellie Manuel is more “hopeless” than “romantic.”

Even after her Prince Charming broke up with her, she just won’t give up … because fairy tale heroines don’t live “happily ever after” right away, silly, they’re tested first!

Determined to pass the test, she spends the next year restoring herself to the girl Prince Charming had fallen in love with in the first place.

Until she discovers that life without him might not be so bad after all: her career is taking off, her confidence is back, and the cute guy at work is no longer a stranger.

So when is it okay to quit on a fairy tale?

1st Sunday of 2011

Today, being the 1st Sunday of the year, I made it a point to  hear the Sunday Mass at the Archdiocesan Shrine of Jesus, The Way, The Truth and The Life. The church, as expected, was filled to the brim. So much so that I just had to settle hearing the mass outside the church.


But what made me write about this particular Sunday mass was the feeling that I had while I was there. I will be honest in writing here that my duties as a Catholic was one of the most neglected aspect of my life in 2010. Sure, I prayed, did (and completed) the Novena to St. Jude Thaddeus last year, but I was very much remiss in attending Sunday Masses. I can't even remember the last time I went for a Confession. And the few times I was able to go to a Sunday Mass, again, I will be honest in saying that my mind will wander somewhere else.


Hence, the feeling that I got while attending tonight's Mass is something different.  I was late, I was outside the church, there were so many people around me, and yet, I felt the holiness (for lack of a better word). Singing the Our Father just felt so different tonight. 


For whatever it's worth, I am thankful for that moment. I felt like God was there, and He was close to me.  Thank You, Papa God for tonight. May I have many more of these. Amen! 

2011

New year...  I decided to start a new blog account. Yep, I have another blog account on another social networking site, but I haven't been able to maintain it religiously for more than a year now. And so now, a new blog account. 

Other than this, well, this new year I ain't making any resolutions, my dearies! Last year, I listed like 10 things I wanted to do in 2010. Sadly, I only got to do 1 out of those 10. Tsk! So this year, I ain't having any. Unless,  you will count my resolve NOT to work as hard as I did the previous years and focus more on myself as a resolution, then I guess, I still made one huh? But that's just it. Work will be there, but I ain't gonna spend 12-14 hours a day at the office anymore. Something I have been doing for the last 10 years, and I believe that this is the best time to stop that and start treating myself right!  

This year's gonna be about ME. Fun, travel, time with friends, learning new things/skills, etc.