Deja Vu

My current situation at the office hasn't been very easy since New Year came.

On the 1st working day of the year, my boss, the Manager called for a departmental meeting, which started with her spewing off her anger towards that forum post on President Pnoy's website. In that particular topic, she was described with a lot of not so kind words. During the same meeting, she asked for each and everyone's "lessons learned in 2010" as well as work commitment (or new year's resolution that is work related) for 2011. After everyone was done trying to churn out motherhood statements, there I was in all my bitchiness, declaring that I didn't have one, well at least about that part about having a work-related new year's resolution. Which left her open mouthed and short of saying "wwwwwhhhhaaat????". But of course she didn't and instead, had the grace to act interested in what I had to say at that time. And from then on, everything went spiraling down for me.

Ten days after: Today, a friend at work one whom I call Ate (basically because she's older than me by age and tenure at the office and she's always been like an Ate to me) talked to me and shared with me that my boss, The Manager, talked to her last night. Of course, their talk was about MOI, no less! In that talk, my boss, The Manager shared her hurt and feelings of betrayal that "I" apparently has inflicted on her. Basically, the same stuff I heard during the earlier meeting. And yes, there is this teeny weeny issue of TRUST AND LOYALTY.

After my talked with Ate, it dawned on me that I was in for a different fight this time. It made me think if this is going to be a case of he-said-she-said, or in this case, she-said-she said. If this is going to be something that will go down to the level of talking to other people about your hurts instead of talking to the person himself. I guess it is. Ate urged me to talk to the boss. To which I honestly replied, I'm not inclined to. If she calls me to her office for this, then I will go, because I am not in any position to say "No". But for me to actually be the first one to approach and open this topic with her, No thanks!

No, I'm not being a bitch about this. You see, this isn't the first time that my loyalty and my trustworthiness has been put into question. And boy, I am getting tired of this issue! If all the hard work, sacrifices, the long hours, all the weekends I've given up in order to get a project done is not enough basis to prove my loyalty to my job, then I don't know how or what else I have to do to prove it. 

I've actually moved on from this issue. That forum site didn't concern me that much to begin with. But through all those posts about GSIS which have been written on the forum, at some point, it made me sad that all those dirty linens needed to be washed in public. But on the other hand, I've also considered where those posters were coming from. That particular topic which hit on HR has hurt me, too because, damn it, I am from the HR! I know for a fact that we, as HR, aren't perfect. In fact, we are so, so, so far from  it. But reading that topic made me sad. However,  being accused of being one of those hate writers? Gosh! It hurt more than anything because, I am being accused based on hear says and "opinions" and "beliefs" of other people that was fed to my boss. And what makes it truly disappointing is that I am not talked to about this issue, I am being talked ABOUT! And by people who doesn't know a cent's worth of difference between what is a FORUM site and a BLOG site!

Now, on a hindsight, I am thankful for the realizations I had days before 2010 ended. And the decisions I made with regards to these realization. It helped me moved on and remain optimistic in spite and despite of the crappy treatment I am currently getting. These and the people who truly believe in me keeps me going.

Life will go on. I know that it will. I know the truth. And I have from experience, know that the truth shall always set you free. Besides, Karma is just around the corner!

Oh, just for the record, I AM NOT AFTER YOUR JOB!