Being Sexy

Lunch time today, me and some female co-workers met at the female restroom. One officemate named Dee, who's on the heavy side, quipped while referring to me, "Kung ganito lang ang katawan ko, araw-araw siguro malaswa ako." The remark earned a reply from another colleague, Len, "Kung ganyan ang katawan, walang malaswa. Tingnan mo nga ako, kahit anung plunging ng neckline, walang malaswa!"  Len, as opposed to Dee, is also what one calls slender. Len's remarked earned laughter amongst us. The conversation went to being sexy and what it constitutes.  To Dee, it means being slim and able to wear almost anything without any worry for bulges. For Len, it was having the "curves" in all the right places, yeah, including a better endowed chest portion.  


I left the group still talking about this. But the conversation reminded me of my early discussions with my man friends about what they find sexy in women. Obviously, my guy friends would always, always point out the physical aspects of being sexy first. You know, big boobs, small waistline and curvaceous hips. Oh not to forget, long sexy legs! Tweet-Tweet! Yeah, yeah! Typical male...


But over the years and I don't know if it can be attributed to maturity, my guy friends now gives me different definitions of "sexy". One guy friend said, he finds a woman who is able to maintain her mysteriousness, sexy. Meaning, a woman who doesn't let him know what she thinks or feel almost all the time. Another guy friend said that a woman is sexy when she exudes confidence. Another one said, a woman who isn't afraid to tell him what she feels or needs is sexy. 


I share these definitions by my guy friends. For me, a woman does not necessarily have to be physically beautiful and possess a 36-24-36 body measurement to be sexy. For me, sexy is composed of several things: intelligence, confidence, charm, wit, strength (emotional and otherwise), is able to carry herself/himself well in any situation, to name a few. A woman who is able to make a man not just lust after her, but engage his mind long after she has left, is uber sexy.  


Ditto for a man. A man may not have the legendary "6-pack" abs, and muscled arms, or be tall dark and handsome, but if he's got intelligence or confidence or humour or thoughtfulness or the courage to show his weak side, trust me, women find that sexy in guys! 


A woman who may be physically beautiful does not necessarily follow she's sexy. This is what is called as "eye candy" beauty. A woman may have all the right curves and the money to buy dresses, but may end up coming off slutty. Dresses, shoes, make-up helps but at the end of the day, sexiness is something that comes from within. And one doesn't get to take it off at night. It's within each and every single one of us.  Yep, we are sexy 24/7, most just don't realize it, because they are trapped in their own shallow definition of this word. 


So, to my gal friends, especially those who are on the heavy side and / or married: YOU ARE SEXY! Never, ever forget that!