Time and again, I have been asked this question: "Why aren't you married yet, Rose?" or sometimes with the more direct version: "Don't you want to get married, Rose?"
And over time, I've become inventive in answering. From a mere "Hindi pa, eh"; to "Career muna" to somewhat absurd "Strict parents ko eh" to outrageous "Babae na ho hanap ko ngayon".
Honestly, for a long time, my question to myself was "Do I really want to get married?". And know what? I just recently, finally, answered this question. Yes, I do want to get married. Next question is: "So, why haven't I done it? There have been a time or two when I could have".
Year back (and this is something that has remained unbeknown to my family and most of my friends up until now), I have been proposed to. But for one reason or the other, I held back. Something just wasn't right for me to say "Yes" to that proposal. A few months after that, I broke up with that guy. And no, it wasn't because I said "No" to his proposal, but it's because he did the nasty with someone else.
At that time, I thought and truly believed that had it not been for his indiscretion, I would have ended up with him. But it was just later on that I realized that it was a fate's way of telling me that at that time, had I said "yes", it would have been a wrong decision and a lifetime of regret. Why? Because now I have the answer to that perennial question: "Why aren't you married yet, Rose?" And the answer is a cliche actually, "I haven't found the right guy to get married to".
Now, who is the "right guy" for me? Someone who shares my utmost belief that marriage should be made within the bounds of love and once done, it is insoluble. I am not being a hopeless romantic here.
I grew up with 2 parents around. Theirs was not a perfect marriage, in fact, it was riddled with so many challenges. Had it not been for their mutual love and commitment to each other and to the family, I would have become one of those kids with a broken family. And I want what I saw from my parents; the love for each other, the patience for each other's weaknesses, forgiveness for each other's transgressions; the respect for each other's strengths; the support for each other's needs; the good and bad times with each other; I want it all, or maybe even better.
In this day and age where marriage dissolutions are a dime a dozen, I want a guy who will be as committed to the sacrament of marriage. Relationship itself is already complicated to handle. Without mutual love, trust and respect, it will be doubly hard to handle.
Simply put, if and when I get married, it will be to (and with) a guy who's belief is that although marriage annulment (or separation) is there, it will not be an option for us. Because no matter what, we both will work hard to make the marriage work.
And I am praying to finally, finally, find this guy.
No comments:
Post a Comment