On Office Romances and Fights

Middle of last week, Wednesday to be exact, I got a call at the office from a colleague. I was told that one of my male staff was involved in a fight, right inside the office premises during office hours. This info made me stand up and look for said personnel. 


Immediately after the call, I asked my staff to come and see me. Even before he sat down, he knew the reason why he was being called; and so he told me his side of story. Apparently, my staff and his girlfriend, who's also an employee but belongs to another department, has been having issues with girl's smoking habits. That day, my staff ran into his gf downstairs with another male employee. My staff instinctively felt that his gf went out during the morning break time to smoke, so he didn't say a word to them and proceeded to return to our work area. The girl, sensing his boyfriend's reaction, followed my staff into his work cube to explain why she was with that another male employee. Apparently, my staff who couldn't fully buy his gf's explanation, decided to confront the other male employee. And then the fight happened. Everything was caught on the CCTV and eventually, the two male employees were called to the Security Department.


After my staff finished his story, I knew right then and there that of the 3 characters in this story (my staff, his gf and the other male employee), it's my staff who has the most fault. In fact, he's the one at fault. And like a elder sister, I did my best to speak and remind my staff of his folly and its possible repercussions to his career. The fight happened during office hours and inside the office premises. I reminded him that there were branch personnel who did the same thing and got dismissed from the service. And to think that they fought OUTSIDE the branch office and AFTER office hours. But just the same, they were dismissed.  I can only imagine the magnitude of my staff's action. 


My staff was honest enough to admit that his action was purely based on emotions. He acted out of anger and frustration (towards his girlfriend). 


Office romances can be sweet, at best, conflicting at worst. Personally, I am not a fan of office romances. And I have my reasons. Foremost of which is that there becomes a fine line between professional and personal emotions between two employees involved in such a relationship. And most of the time, this fine line is crossed nonchalantly. Another reason is that, and whether anyone would like to admit this or not, it becomes another topic to be talked about by other people. Third reason, and I am speaking from experience here, once the romance or relationship fizzles out, there's that period when one avoids the other.  And boy, do I hate this feeling! 


I reminded my staff that as an employee, his foremost responsibility is to do his job and take care of his credibility as a personnel from the Human Resources. Other things come in second when he's at the office. In the case of my staff, being from HR became a double whammy against him. 


I did a 2-day "counselling sessions" with him. I was really like an elder sister to him, to the point that I expressed my personal opinions on his relationship with his now ex. 


My staff is kinda young, early 20's and has been with the company for a little more than 2 years. And it just dawned on me that ever since he came in, he didn't have the opportunity to make friends or bond with other male employees in our department. Right away, he got into a relationship with his now ex gf. And yeah, I know now that it could have made a difference had he got the chance to be friends with his male colleagues first. 


Seeing my staff's remorse and fear of the consequences of his action made me feel "awa". But then again, that's what happens when a person lets his emotions rule.