After all the hours I've clocked in.
After all the sacrifices I made.
Where or what did it get me?
A promotion or two.
A car.
A handful of good and true friends.
Hongkong. Boracay. Cebu. Bohol.
A handful of gadgets.
Tons of clothes and shoes.
Half of my nephews' tuition and some of their hospital bills.
Yeah, maybe the last 10 years weren't so bad at all.
Good indeed, if I'm not going include into the equation
All the heartaches caused by judgement, accusations, betrayals,
Backstabbing, pettiness, intrigues.
The 12-14 daily work hours.
The 3 working weekends, sometime more, in a row schedule
Missed moments with my Dad and Mom, my brothers and sisters
Missed moments with my nephews and nieces
Missed moments with my friends.
Missed chances to enrich myself as a person.
Missed opportunities for a relationship or two
These missed opportunities are something that I can't take back.
I decided to re-focus my priorities.
Told my boss and staff about it.
What did I get?
It became equated with cowardice because of my supposedly
Wrongdoing against her.
To my staff, it looked like I have just given up on them.
As a person, I've never been the kind who would value myself based on
The material things that I have or the position that I hold.
As an employee, I've never had the illusion that I am indispensable.
As a supervisor, I know that it is my much higher obligation to teach and
empower my staff.
As a daughter, I know that I missed out a lot on my Dad
And I am trying to make it up to my Mom now.
But did my boss and supposedly "friends" at the office understood?
All their actions have indicated that they didn't and they still don't.
To them, I am being unfair and selfish.
To them, I am someone to be wary of
To be given "sensitive" and "confidential" informations.
To them, it's better if I don't ask them about stuff
Going on in the office, so as "not to compromise the friendship".
10 years of sacrifices and I get this.
Can anyone blame me for wanting to just be alone for now?
To just let the pain and sadness come
Hoping that in time, it will all go away.
Hoping that after all these has come to pass,
I am not a totally different person at all?
I am not being an ungrateful bitch
I am just trying to find an answer to a
Question that has been at the back of my mind for quite sometime now:
10 years of everything, but was it worth it?
Honey, it was worth it while it lasted!
ReplyDeleteLet's not look back anymore in despair. No regrets. Some lessons take more time to absorb than others. Important is that today you have completed your antithesis “that what was worth it while it lasted, is not worth it at all…” It’s time to graduate from the school of life for these hard-learned lessons. There were no shortcuts in the process. The ordeal had to be faced.
The pain? It lasts a long time.. a very long time.. maybe it will last a lifetime IF YOU LET IT!
Agree! Grieve for now but rightly so, do not be the same person afterwards. Heal no matter how slowly, then be pleased that YOU SURVIVED THE ORDEAL and are ready to help others heal.
NO DAUNTING CHALLENGE will ever let a good person down permanently! The irony of it all is that while you believe you are suffering, the same people causing your pain are writing with envy because they will never be YOU!
We'll wait for you...
never a single day when we should stop doing a life review... u know y? because this is a process that enriches us... moreso, it helps us forgive people who have caused us heartaches and that includes our loved ones and yes, even ourselves... why am i saying this to you sweetie...because i found this empowering... everyday continue to hunger for learning... for growth... people will challenge you at times...let them... bec it adds spice... wink* without spice, life will be such a bore... and you dont want to live in a boring existence... so my advise (if i may)... to hell with this gossipers! we celebrate life! so... get out of the way you biatches!!! =) loveu rose... hugs***
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